No, I'm not talking about young couples getting to know each other or some mad passionate love. I'm talking about date night for slow brimming loves and hates developed over a 16 yr span which require constant stirring, modulating the fire and watching over. Our cupeth has never really tumbled over; in fact, half the time, the cupeth has almost run out on both sides. We have worked towards what we have.
What we have is nothing short of ordinary. It doesn't inspire a movie, even a book or teach other couples how our marriage is so perfect. It is one of constant work, endurance, acceptance, flexibility and patience. Yes, sometimes there is one that gives more than the other. Then, there is resentment, an exchange of some times mean spirited words followed by silence. Then, we try all over again.
Til one of us wises up. Knowing another person so long sometimes more than you do your parents or your kids, dawning comes over you someday for no apparent reason. Maybe you are the one who has to modify and do something different. Don't expect your partner to do it if they haven't done it in the many years that my husband and I have shared a lifetime together.
So, I said "I want to go out and have dinner together. I'm treating. Let's go." We did. We went and relaxed sans kids for a bit. It wasn't terribly romantic or bonding. It was real. It was a chance to talk without interruptions or other people's needs. Just our own. I liked it. I even sat there and stared at my husband thinking "I'll invite him next week again to do something."
Two hours later last night, we walked to the car in the bitter cold hand in hand and didn't say a thing.
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